Author: KOCOS_HEAVEN🌺

Good evening my babies. Yes! Y’all are my babies and I love you guys wholeheartedly. How have you been? How’s the weekend? Mine has been excruciating!

I’ve been avoiding publishing because I don’t want to reveal my recent emotions I will make an attempt to share with you some of the experiences and challenges that I have recently encountered.

I am so broken! It’s like I force myself to go through the day like a normal human being. I am honestly very tired of faking how I have been feeling. I am literally tired of being so strong and showing up for people who needs me! I want someone to hold me and tell me it is okay. God! I feel so broken! I need to scream! I need to yell and cry and wail about my problems because I am tired of being so strong!

Nothing makes sense to me anymore. My favorite things to do don’t even make sense to me anymore. I don’t want to be strong! I don’t want to show up for people anymore! I do not want to be pretty and fake a smile anymore! I am very tired!

Koco is broken💕

My topics are the absolute “cheekiest” but i love it!

Good day guys. I hope you had an amazing week. If yes, i am glad you did. If no, we are in this together and we go again next week.

I have had the worst week! I can’t even lie. It’s been a horrible week for me. A very slow and awful week and i need to move on from this pain quickly.

If you ask me what pain? I do not even know. There are days when I just pretend like my mornings aren’t the saddest and I cried till I couldn’t feel my face. Life isn’t kicking me in the butt but it is. I am drained but not to the extent of unliving. I love life. I am just drained emotionally and mentally. Not physically though because i am still a 10/10.

I think I have just psychologically checked out from reality. Reality and adulting. I know things will get better and I’m going to get my groove back on but ughhhh!! I want to feel better soon

So what phase is this my people? What sort of pain is this? Please don’t say depression because I get automatically exhausted when people misuse the word. And no! I am not in denial. I am just a sad sad person.

Hopefully, the days get better and the nights get warmer.

Thank you for reading my rants and OH! Please listen to BRUCE LEE BY CHRIS BROWN. It helps with the tears.

Love you guys.

Koco💕.

I get inspiration to write most randomly, like today when I was brushing my teeth and walking around the house, and I came up with the title for today.

There’s not one of us that was created without intent. There’s a purpose for our existence. An objective we need to fulfill.

One of the things I pray for when I communicate with my father is that he shows me, in a way that I can understand, what my purpose is on Earth and he has never failed to answer.

Many of us are unaware that fulfilling our purpose does not necessarily mean being restricted to standing at the altar and preaching to a congregation or performing miraculous healings. Fulfilling our purpose can take various forms and vary from person to person.

It is a deeply personal and unique journey. It goes beyond societal pressure and predefined roles. God has blessed each of us with unique skills, talents, and qualities. Fulfilling your purpose means recognizing and embracing those attributes. It may involve using your creativity, leadership skills, problem-solving skills, or compassion in ways that align with your values and bring you a sense of fulfillment.

The impact you make can be described as another form of fulfilling your purpose. It’s about finding ways to improve the well-being of other individuals i.e, through work, relatuonships and societal concerns.

Your purpose is often intertwined with your passions and what brings you joy. When you engage in activities that naturally give you joy and align with your passions, you naturally feel a sense of fulfillment and purpose. Following your passions and finding joy in what you do are crucial aspects of fulfilling your purpose.

There is no predefined template for fulfilling your purpose. It is a deeply personal and individual journey that requires self-reflection, exploration, and willingness to embrace your unique path. Trust yourself, Trust God, follow your intuition, and be open to possibilities that unfold along the way.

Until next time,

Love, Koco💕.

Welcome to the month of love! Welcome to February! I pray God fulfils your desires for this month. Amen!

My mom calls me “an on-and-off Christian”. In a local slang “Ashawo Christian.” A very weird combination of words. She says I am an inconsistent Christian who only clings to God when I need something. I agree with her on the inconsistency but not on the latter part.

How do you build a consistent relationship with God?

I had a smooth relationship with God last year. Not smooth but it was an almost perfect one. I had days when I had my quiet time with him. Just God, myself, and my Bible. There were times when I just casually spoke to him and he spoke to me too. He spoke to me in the language that I understood. Church was my second home. I never missed a Sunday and even if I did, I streamed service and studied my Bible. The book of Exodus! The book of Exodus became my favorite part of the Bible. I dissected and broke chapters into small notes. I linked verses with other scriptures of the Bible. I lived to be one with Christ.

But then, I swayed! I fell off. I gave too much power to my flesh. The thing is, during the process of falling off, I was conscious. I could notice it. I saw the end of it and I knew what it would do to me but I just let myself live in the moment and it affected my relationship with God.

Now it’s a new year. I want a fresh start. I desire a fresh start but the journey has been difficult. I am a Christian that believes in the gathering of men but I also believe that you can be one with God in your personal space. Your altar. I am struggling to handle both the former and the latter.

I made a nasty decision at the beginning of the year to be away from the church for some time because I needed to avoid distractions but now, looking back at it, that decision was a solid 0/10.

How do I build a consistent prayer life with God? How do I regain my fire for his presence? Sincere answers only.

Love, Koco💕

Can it be Friday already?! I am overwhelmed with stress and I feel like I am getting to my breaking point where I can’t handle it anymore. I desperately try to find little ways even if it’s just for a brief hour of respite. Can I just skip the part where I am on a yacht in dubai with a glass of champagne?

How are you guys? Honestly. Tell me.

I recently came across a quote and it couldn’t be anymore relatable.

“Selfish people often mistake selfishness for strength. It takes no talent, no intelligence, no self-control, and no effort to sacrifice people for your ego.”

If our creator had prioritized himself and was self-centered and emotionally unavailable, the world would have lacked love, care, and all the essentials for a thriving and inter connected world.

I feel uneasy and annoyed when people use the sentence “I am putting myself first” too often. How do you intentionally disregard other people’s feelings and show a lack of understanding while pursuing your selfish desires? How easy is it for you to ignore the negative actions and misinterpret the sincere care from your friends or partners?

It’s acceptable to prioritize your desires and needs, but it becomes problematic when it harms others. Acting solely for your own benefit without considering the well-being and feelings of others is narcissistic and hurtful.

I believe that people are generally aware of their actions and inactions. I also believe that it is best to distance ourselves from selfish and unavailable individuals and remove them from our lives. The consequences of having these type of people is mentally exhausting and we do not want go be victims.

I have to end this here. Till next time.

Love, Koco💕

Happy New Year my babies. Ugh!, I’ve missed this. I have missed sharing my life events and thought process with you guys!

2023 threw some major curveballs my way, but you know what? I’m sending a big thank you note to the universe for those wild adventures, questionable choices, and epic facepalms. It’s like the chaos was my personal trainer, sculpting me into the badass I am today. So, here’s to embracing the beautiful messiness of life and being grateful for the quirks that make me, well, me! Cheers, 2023!

Oh boy, it’s that time again! A brand-spankin’ new year is here, and I’m doing my best to keep my cool, but let’s be real, I’m totally stoked! What really gets me pumped is the whole “out with the old, in with the new” vibe. It’s like a fresh start buffet, serving up all sorts of tasty opportunities and ideas. Time to sift through the leftovers and embrace the shiny, new possibilities!

Listen up, folks! It’s that time of year when I become the ultimate goal-setting guru. I take my New Year’s resolutions so seriously, it’s like a sacred ritual. Now, I can’t spill all the beans, but one thing on my resolution radar is to become a Zen master. Sayonara negativity, especially in my friendships! It’s time to kick those bad vibes to the curb and create a friend zone that’s all rainbows and unicorns.

I’m on the hunt for some real MVPs in the friend department. Give me those truth-telling, wise-cracking, ride-or-die buddies any day! I’ve got love to spare, and I’m ready to dish it out in heaps. But here’s the deal: I’m looking for a mutual love fest. I want friends who see me as the VIP I am, trust that I’ve got their back, and appreciate the awesome sauce I bring to their lives.

Ughhhh! Sadly I have to stop here. I wish you the very best of the New Year. Welcome to 2024!

Love, Koco💕.

Today, I am going to make my post as conversational as I can. I have never been more inspired to write a blog post like this.

WHO DO WE WANT? As we mature and enter the stage of adulting, we begin to become conscious of what we want to be and who we want to be with. Undeniably, with each passing day, life becomes complex. No matter how tough and figure-headed you think you are, you must succumb to the fact that loneliness is a sickness.

So who do we want?

I read an interview online yesterday about a couple who have been married for over 27 years. It was a solo interview. The lady in the marriage was asked, If there was a next life, would she love to do this marriage thing again with her partner? Her answer was a solid NO. Why? She said that his aggressiveness and inability to apologize when he is wrong makes it difficult for her to communicate. She also said that in the whole 27 years of her marriage, she has felt like she has been kept in a chokehold without the option of expressing her emotions such as pain and anger. Of course, she mentioned that there have been good times but the bad times have become as clear as the sweet memories.

I ask again, WHO DO WE WANT?

Most of us if not everybody wants an uncomplicated partner. A partner that makes it easy in conflicting times. A self-aware partner who is also conscious of our feelings; “If my partner did this to me if I were in their shoes and I was being treated this way, would I be happy? How would I feel?” I could continue to go on and on about common desires.

First and foremost, Be good. Be someone else’s desire. I am not talking about physical appearances. I am talking about qualities. Have the authenticity you seek. Secondly, make your desires aware to your partner from the beginning. Tell him/her the kind of person you want to be with. While at it, recognize that there is not a single person that is built with perfection. We are all flawed. Thirdly, communicate. Embrace the fact that communication is the foundation for a solid relationship. Last but never least, stay true to who stays true to you.

“Life has taught me that you can’t control someone’s loyalty. No matter how good you are to them, doesn’t mean they will treat you the same. No matter how much they mean to you doesn’t mean they will value you the same.”

Love, Koco💕.

Hey Lovelies, it’s been ages! I’ve missed sharing my thoughts with you guys. I am excited to be back on here. Well, not back on here fully but hey!, you’re reading my post for the first time in nine months.

There’s so much catching up to do but i’ll rather you stay tune till my next post. Expect details and more on my disappearance. As for today, you are going to read my rants. Permit me.

Before we get right into it, I need answers from y’all. Can we individually learn to be by ourselves? Do we actually need people? Is codependancy a must for survival? I have asked myself this question for the longest and I sincerely need answers.

While working out, I reflected on my relationships and friendships with people. I have pushed lots of people from my life not because they did anything wrong but because we no longer reason the same, our thoughts have become so diverse and we are no longer competent for our worlds, but is that a good enough reason to want to be by yourself? To let people go? I woke up this morning with so much animosity and hurt and I just needed to rant to someone who has known me for the longest, someone who knew the kind of person I was but there was nobody. I felt so alone for the first time in a while.

I think I am an alien. You ask me why? I always think I can walk alone in this life. I constantly like to think that I am an island and I have become my entertainment. Is that possible? In all of this, do you think what I feel is regret?

Well, I think adulting has a role to play in this. We become so sensitive to friendships and relationships that we need to reevaluate who we can look up to for emotional support. Being an adult is arduous.

God, today was the worse! I tried to project my frustration into productivity and that was how I ended up sleeping for an hour.

I wish every man was an island. No! I wish every man had the choice of standing alone and not alone. Do you get me? Like, I wish I had the choice of being on my own without having to look up to someone for emotional support or any kind of “SHIP”.

I miss being the life of the party. I miss going out to the clubs with friends and having a good time. I miss being funny. Now, I have to work and work and strategize and plan and work. I want to be 18 again.

Love, Koco💕.

It’s been such a long time on here. I didn’t want to write anything on here till the end of this year. Procrastination isn’t the reason for this decision.

How are you all doing? I guess I’m doing great. I hope I am.

It was difficult for me to fall asleep yesterday night because I slept through the afternoon after church so, I decided to read my emails. I bumped into this newsletter and since then, I have been meditating on it.

I am one of the many who scrolls through Instagram stalking people that I feel are perfectionists. I say to myself “Oh my, her natural hair is perfect, her skin is amazing, her life is aesthetically pleasing.” I even make comical comments like “I hope to be like her when I grow up.” I enjoy the amazing presets and hope my existence becomes an image of mere pictures. I just want perfection.

In the newsletter, she praises people’s love for her life and her organizational abilities, and she begins another paragraph with, “I do not have it all figured out.”

Our lack of proper knowledge of the people we admire may get us blind to their daily struggles. Yesterday, while surfing on Twitter, I saw the news of a successful young man who passed on due to attacks. While going through the comment section, people expressed shock and how death creeps in at anytime to snatch a soul.

I for one have been a potential image of perfection in the eyes of admirers but the truth is I struggle with life sometimes. 2020 and 2021, I struggled with an inferiority complex and sadness. The optimism in me died and the pessimism arose (thankful for family and my partner).

I like to say to people that they should allow their vulnerability. Showing strength when in-depth you feel weak and lost is only a facade and a sham. Feel your emotions. Cry when you have to, breathe when your chest becomes too tight and shout when you can’t feel your voice.

It is 11:43 and on the scale of 1-10, 3 describes how unproductive I have been since morning. I particularly do not have any advice to give but do with this blog post whatever you feel.

Love, Koco💕

Hello. November came with lots of emotions. Lots and lots of it. I’ve had the best two weeks of my life though but I am super ecstatic for December.

Today’s episode is quite simple to ingest and ponder upon. Obviously, it is relatable.

COMMITMENT.

I think the above word is slowly fading away and starting to go into extinct. Our generation no longer finds the above word pleasurable and dignifying. We all know that for a long term relationship to be sustainable, both partners have to make a pledge to be committed to each other.

Commitment means staying devoted to ones words or promises without any urge to break it. Commitment comes with a pledge to sticking with each other through thick or thin. Weathering the storm. You and your partner have made a bubble for yourselves and in other for that bubble to stay afloat, the both of you become the support system. That means, committing to keeping the bubble afloat.

HOW DO WE COMMIT TO A RELATIONSHIP?

Easy Pizzy! Stay loyal and respectful. Just stay loyal and respectful. There is a lot of dignity that comes with being loyal and respectful to your partner. Cheating broods disrespect and disloyalty. Not a single sane person would want to hurt the ones they claim they love. I think this needs to be on full blast. Cheating is “injurable” to mental health!

Be honest about your past and truthful about your vision of your future. Share your feelings, share your thoughts, and share your very presence with your mate. Do everything in your power to not let lies or half-truths destroy the trust and commitment between you.

Only when you feel respect and appreciation for your partner can you genuinely express it. Kind communication, praise and commendation will help you convey your gratitude for your mate. Being supportive of their feelings and encouraging them will help them feel like they can always turn to you for advice and comfort. Take time to truly listen to your partner. Don’t shy away from sharing your own emotions as well. Be gentle, use gracious words, and really try to understand your partner on a deeper level. Expressing your personal interest in them will show the depth of your commitment.

Remaining sensible and supportive is the best way to express commitment during hard times. If you truly love your partner, these points should pretty much feel like logical and natural steps. The choice is yours to take them.

Love, Koco💕