Zuciyata tana Kano.

I have a confession. I think I left a little piece of myself in Kano because why is my heart still there? Why have I been back for a while, but my mind keeps wandering to a place I haven’t even fully explored?

I went to Kano, I came back, and somehow, Kano followed me home.

The funny thing is that I didn’t even do much while I was there. In fact, I spent most of my time indoors. I wasn’t going around visiting tourist attractions, exploring every corner of the city or doing anything particularly adventurous. I was mostly indoors, minding my business. But even from inside the house, I could tell that something about that place was different.

First, the air. Oh, the air!

I don’t know how to explain it, but breathing felt different. It was fresh, even on some of those ridiculously hot days. And before anyone comes for me, I know Kano can be extremely hot. I experienced some of it myself. But there was something about the atmosphere that I found calming. Maybe it was the environment, maybe it was the slower pace I was experiencing, or maybe I was just enjoying being somewhere unfamiliar. Whatever it was, I liked it.

Then there’s the simplicity of the place.

I think one of the things Kano reminded me of is that simplicity is also wealth. Not everything has to be complicated. Not every day has to feel like you’re racing against time. Not every experience needs to be extravagant before it can be meaningful.

There is something beautiful about a place where life appears to have some sort of order to it. From what I experienced, Kano felt coordinated. There were rules, there were structures, and there seemed to be a certain level of organisation to everyday living that I found refreshing.

Now, I’m not saying everything is perfect over there. Every city has its own problems, and I was only there for a short time. But the difference in what I experienced was noticeable.

Coming from Delta, where I’m quite familiar with the everyday chaos, noise, movement and general unpredictability, Kano felt like a completely different world. It was almost like someone had turned down the volume of life.

And can we talk about decency?

Because that was another thing I found interesting.

I enjoy my short shorts, my mini skirts, my tank tops and my cleavage tops. I like dressing how I like, and I’m not about to pretend otherwise. So being in a place with a different approach to dressing and public conduct was an interesting experience for me.

I noticed the difference, but I also found myself appreciating it. There was something about the environment that made me pause and observe. It reminded me that people can live differently, have different values, operate within different social expectations and still find their own version of happiness.

I didn’t feel like I had to become somebody else to appreciate the place. I was simply experiencing a different way of life, and I enjoyed that.

Perhaps that’s what travel is supposed to do sometimes. It reminds you that the world is much bigger than the little corner you’ve become accustomed to. There are other ways to live, other ways to organise society, other cultures to experience and other versions of life you haven’t even considered.

And now, here I am, contemplating a possible relocation to Kano.

Yes, relocation!

I know. Even I’m surprised.

But lately, I’ve been thinking about the possibility of living there and experiencing the city beyond being a visitor. I want to know what it feels like to wake up there on an ordinary Monday. I want to understand the city, discover its hidden corners, experience its everyday routines, meet people, learn the culture and see what life looks like when you’re not just passing through.

I think I’m craving something different.

Not necessarily because where I am is terrible, but because I have reached a point where I want to experience life outside what I already know. Sometimes, you need to put yourself in unfamiliar environments to discover parts of yourself you haven’t met yet.

I want different experiences. Different surroundings. Different conversations. Different routines. I want to see what happens when I step outside the familiar and allow myself to be a beginner somewhere else.

And Kano has somehow made it onto that list of possibilities.

Princess might actually be upset with me if I take this relocation idea seriously. I can already imagine her reaction. She might have to start processing the fact that her friend is considering moving to Kano. Princess, please, let’s not fight. I’m only exploring my options. 😂

Also, there’s another very important matter we need to address.

I want to have a Hausa accent.

I’m serious.

I want to be minding my business, speaking English, and then randomly switching into Hausa with an accent that will make people wonder when exactly I became a Kano girl. I want to be saying things with confidence. I want to understand the conversations happening around me. I want to learn the language properly.

At this point, I might need to start practising. Sannu! Lafiya lau? Please, don’t laugh at me. I’m trying.

But jokes aside, I think Kano gave me something I wasn’t necessarily looking for when I travelled there. It gave me a different perspective. It reminded me that there is beauty in simplicity, that a different pace of life can be refreshing, and that sometimes the things we need are not necessarily the things we’ve been chasing.

I went there as a visitor, but I returned with questions about what my life could look like if I stayed.

I don’t know if I’ll eventually relocate. I don’t know if this is just the excitement of discovering somewhere new or if there’s genuinely something waiting for me there. I guess time will tell.

But for now, one thing is certain: my heart is in Kano.

Zuciyata tana Kano.

And if you see me practising my Hausa accent in the meantime, please mind your business. I’m preparing for my new life. 😂

Love, Koco💕

From My Heart to God’s Ears:

Hey, lovelies! Happy weekend!

I have been counting down to this weekend with my whole life, and now that it is finally here, I cannot contain my excitement!

One of the privileges I am most grateful for is the privilege to dream. The privilege to imagine a beautiful life, to have a vision, to fantasise about the things my heart desires, and to believe that, somehow, someday, they will become my reality.

Guys, I want an Igbo man! I want to be an Igbo bride! Please, allow me to dream!

I envision myself as the most beautiful Igbo bride, dressed in all the traditional finery, married to my very wealthy di m. Yes, my wealthy husband. My Obim. My love.

Oh, to walk gracefully towards my husband, adorned in beautiful Igbo beads, holding my palm wine, with all eyes on me as I dance softly to meet my man. Oh, to hear the cheers, see the smiles, and feel the warmth of two families coming together. Oh, to be welcomed into a beautiful new chapter of my life, wrapped in love, culture, and the most beautiful traditions.

And my husband? My wealthy Igbo husband? He will be looking at me like I am the greatest blessing God has ever given him. He will call me all the beautiful names in Igbo, shower me with affection, and remind me in a thousand little ways that I am his heart’s delight.

Because, please, what is the point of having a rich imagination if I cannot imagine being thoroughly loved and pampered by my own Obim?

Oh, to be loved by a wealthy Igbo man! To be pampered by a wealthy Igbo man! To be the queen of my di m’s heart! To be that woman whose husband looks at her and thinks, “Nkem, you are everything I prayed for.”

I want the soft life, the beautiful love, the cultural richness, the thoughtful gifts, the laughter, the friendship, and the kind of marriage that makes me look at my life and whisper, “God, You really outdid Yourself with this one.”

And before anyone asks, yes, I am fully aware that this is a fantasy. But isn’t that the beauty of dreaming? You get to close your eyes and imagine a life so beautiful that your heart cannot help but smile.

Besides, who says a girl cannot dream big?

I am putting this out here with my full chest. I want my Igbo husband. I want my beautiful Igbo wedding. I want to dance to meet my man with my palm wine and my beads, and I want to be loved in ways that make me grateful I waited for the right person.

From my mouth to God’s ears, I will get my Obim!

And when it finally happens, lovelies, you will hear about it. Trust me, this blog will have stories to tell!

Until then, let me dream. Let me fantasise. Let me enjoy the beautiful privilege of imagining a love story that feels like it was written just for me.

Because somewhere in my future, I see a beautiful Igbo bride smiling at her husband, and honestly? I have a feeling she is going to be me.

Love, Koco💕

Coming up with an opening line is often the hardest part of starting a blog post, but here we are.

It is currently 6:56 a.m., and I have this habit of reminiscing about everything that has happened over the previous days. It’s a tradition for me. This week, I’ve reflected on a lot of things, but one theme that has been particularly prominent is REBUILDING.

At a phase in your life, you come to the realization that you can no longer remain where you are. Not because everything is terrible, but because you have outgrown the version of yourself that existed there.

Rebuilding is rarely blings and roses. The difficult part is that rebuilding comes with mostly uncertainty. You may or may not know where you’re going but you’re certain that you cannot go back to where you were.

And that is okay. You don’t need to have everything figured out before you begin. Look at it as an opportunity to start intentionally.

It teaches you growth over comfort, patience, learning new things, setting boundaries, pursuing new opportunities, and discovering what you truly want.

So, if you are currently rebuilding, give yourself permission to move slowly. You are not behind. You are not failing because everything hasn’t fallen into place yet.

You are rebuilding.

And sometimes, before a life can become beautiful again, it has to be rebuilt from the foundation.

Love, Koco💕

I don’t think there’s a finality to growth. I think growth is recurring. With every learning phase comes character development.

Nobody talks about the stress of learning, unlearning, and relearning. The easy part is the aftermath of the learning process. In these past months, I have gone through these processes and I can tell you that I am exhausted!

Friendships and relationships are seemingly some of the hardest ships to navigate especially as a young adult. I was speaking to a friend days ago and she said that the easiest way to protect yourself from heartbreak is t reduce your expectations to nothing and I asked myself, how possible can that be? How do you meet someone today, build a friendship/relationship and move in it without zero expectations?

I think “zero expectations” is almost impossible when you genuinely care about someone. I also think people sometimes say “don’t go into relationships with expectations” when what they really mean is “don’t create an entire future in your head before you’ve gotten to know the person”.

My view? Don’t enter relationships with zero expectations. Enter them alongside with reasonable expectations, but hold them alongside openness and reality.

Another one? Take the risk! Sometimes, we wait for complete certainty before making a move and honestly, complete certainty rarely comes.

Sometimes the bigger risk is staying exactly where you are because you’re afraid of what might happen if you move.

Love, Koco💕

I feel like I’m the only blogger still using WordPress. I’ve been thinking about upgrading, so I might be switching to Substack soon.

This week has been the most overwhelming of the year. It’s been one chaos after another, and I genuinely hope this weekend is good to me. Not just this weekend, I hope the rest of the year is good to me, too.

I became a ChatGPT Premium user, and oh my God, I’ve been enjoying the benefits. One thing that really excites me about the app is the free therapy sessions I get to have with it. At this point, I don’t even care what it does with my information. I’m just here for the benefits.

I love being a self-aware person. Sometimes, I can be a mess, but I enjoy learning and observing new things about myself, my emotions, and other people. It’s both a blessing and a curse to feel things so deeply. Right now, though, na the curse part I dey face like this, like this.

I think one thing I’ve learned over time is that people respond to fear differently. Psychology suggests that it’s not just fear itself that differs from person to person; it’s how we protect ourselves from it. One person fears abandonment and becomes clingy. Another fears abandonment and becomes distant. Someone else fears abandonment and responds with anger, becoming cold or even mean.

The fear may be the same, but the defense mechanisms are different. Sometimes, we’re not reacting to what’s happening in front of us we’re reacting to what we’re terrified might happen.

Being overwhelmed is one of the trickiest emotional states to be in. In that moment, every thought you have and every decision you make can feel completely rational. It’s only when you return to your normal self that you begin to realize some of those decisions and some of the things you accepted or allowed to happen should never have happened in the first place.

Life isn’t all pleasure. Jesus Christ, this has been the craziest lesson I’ve learned lately. Don’t get me wrong I always knew it, but it’s become so much more obvious over time.

One day, you’re happy, and life smells like roses and lemons. The next day, you’re fighting for your life, making impossible decisions because you have a goal, and you’re determined to reach it hook, line, and sinker.

Another one? People can love you. They can want to be with you. They can move heaven and earth for your sake, and somehow, they’ll still never choose you.

That’s the part of this journey I’ll probably never understand, and that’s what makes it so insane.

I can’t keep going.

Love, Koco💕

Can I hear a round of applause for me?! The consistency was unplanned but I have been showing up. Thank you. Thank you. Gracias!

I believe that modern pastors are beginning to lose sight of what their faith requires, and this has become quite tiring. Honestly, it can be annoying. As Christians, we agree that the end times are approaching. This means we are called to teach salvation and its principles. This also means that every corner of the earth is expected to receive the good news and tidings that Christ commands us to teach.

The congregants are expected to win souls for Christ and then when the new flocks arrive, the first message to teach is PROSPERITY? As a new flock that needs character development, you think the most convenient message that binds them with Christianity is prosperity.

That is one of the reasons if not the major problem that Nigeria is flawed. Show me a religious man and I will show you a hypocrital cankerworm. A man quick to cast the first stone, yet in desperate need of character repair.

There’s so much to Christianity that a lot of us Christians do not know. There’s so much to the word that we haven’t hacked. Most Christians hold on to the cloak of Jesus Christ expecting him to do something for us. Giving is no longer taught as fulfillment, but as strategy for taking.

Peter loved Jesus Christ for deeply personal and transformative reasons. Not the religious ones. He loved Jesus Christ because Jesus chose him, believed in him, forgave him and gave his life a meaning. Not despite his flaws but through them.

Note that Peter’s love for God was not transactional because it was rooted in relationship not rewards. Peter loved Jesus not for what he could get, but for who Jesus was. That love produced obedience, sacrifice, and transformation. Not because blessings were promised, but because love had already been given.

Faith was never meant to be a transaction. The pulpit should point people to a God who cannot be bought, negotiated with, or reduced to returns on giving. When the message carries a price tag, the gospel loses its power.

Love, Koco💕

Good evening. It’s currently 7:54pm, and I am still dressed in my work clothes. I’m quite exhausted but also very grateful.

While working today, I paused to breathe and reflect. One thought kept racing through my mind: the concept of prayer and fasting. While I understand that we are supposed to be sober and be in a state of holiness and purity, I am also aware that the flesh is a powerful vessel for sin and it can fail us even when we least expect it.

What do we do when the flesh fails us during this season? Do we push through and continue with the program, or do we pause, reset, and wait until the next day?

One thing I don’t think I’ll ever fully understand is friends completely going ghost during a season of fasting and prayer.

This period is meant to be about drawing closer to God, being intentional, and becoming better people. Yet, for some reason, it’s also when communication fades and silence takes over.

I understand needing space. I understand wanting quiet time with God. But there’s a difference between taking space and disappearing without a word. One feels intentional; the other feels hurtful.

Fasting and prayer are meant to shape our hearts, not close them off. They should make us more thoughtful, more kind, and more aware of how our actions affect others.

In this period, I am trusting God to help me understand what needs understanding and release what doesn’t.

It is currently 8:24pm. Until next time……

Love, Koco💕

I believe the universe needs to start matching chalant people with other chalant people, and pairing nonchalant individuals together. These days, it seems like opposites no longer attract the way they used to.

It is unfair to the highly sensitive individuals those who feel and love deeply to be paired with narcissistic partners. These caring individuals deserve to be loved correctly, held tightly, and embraced wholeheartedly. They need reassurance, especially in times of chaos. Those who love so deeply deserve the softest hearts in return.

In a world that often romanticizes chaos and emotional rollercoasters, it’s easy to forget that love isn’t supposed to be so complicated. Real, healthy love should feel natural. It should be mutual where both people are equally invested, equally present, and equally willing to show up every day.

Love should feel like coming home, not like walking on eggshells. It’s not about constant guessing games, emotional exhaustion, or one-sided effort. Instead, it thrives in spaces where communication is honest, respect is mutual, and intentions are clear.

When two people are truly aligned in values, energy, and emotional maturity love becomes something steady, not stormy. It flows without force. And in that simplicity, you find peace.

Because at the end of the day, love should make life feel lighter, not heavier.

To the sensitive souls you who feel deeply, love openly, and notice what others miss never let the world make you feel like your sensitivity is a flaw.

Your soul is beautiful. Your sensitivity is not a disease, and it’s not a weakness. It’s a strength. It means you care, you empathize, and you connect on a level that many can’t.

In a world that often praises emotional distance, your tenderness is a quiet kind of bravery. Don’t dim it. The world needs more hearts like yours.

Love, Koco💕

I am starting to see that I may never be a consistent writer, and y’all will have to understand. This might be a phase that I will overcome, or not.

It has been one hell of a week! I am usually in such good spirits, and the sky is always so blue and beautiful with a sprinkle of sunshine in my world, but it has legit been different for me since Monday.

Unfortunately, life happens to many of us. It leads us to meet people who despite their initial charm, don’t truly deserve our love. We fall for them only to find ourselves entangled in a web of lies, confusion and heartache and then when we grow the balls to leave, we leave different. Damaged and confused with heavily built walls.

You’re alone now. It’s just you facing life again. Where do you begin? How do you move forward with so many scars? How do you learn to trust? How do you take responsibility without feeling like a fool? When does your anxiety stop? When do you stop panicking? How do you accept that people will mostly come and go? How do you accept love?

We get really cautious now. We start figuring out how to bail on situations before they can hurt us. It’s like we just expect that everything—every situation and everyone—is set to ghost us, and somehow, we get pretty good at just not getting attached.

This is the kind of hurt we end up with from hanging out with people who didn’t really deserve us.

Love, Koco💕