Hi Everyone. I promised to dish out consistency and thinking about it, I haven’t been unflinching with my promise and for this, I am Proud of myself.

As humans, we are perceived to want an innate drive to connect with ourselves. We steady be wanting attention and affiliation plus validation which is going to be our secondary subject matter. We constantly seek inclusion especially when it comes to social assembly.

According to my research, eons ago, validation was linked to our survival; during the archaic times, rejection activated fear. It has been found that when an individual is being rejected, the part of the brain responsible for pain is set off when there is some for of social rejection.

Today, the theory still stands. We live in constant fear of rejection. Although, for some us, we might appear with some form of thick skin in the physical but deep down, once our opinions and ideas are shuffled off by the society, we become crippled as well as our ideas and opinions. Everyday of our lives, we are in search of validation from the social assembly. We constantly want to know what people feel about us, our ideas, our outfits, our relationships e.t.c. When we don’t get the answers we want, we completely shut down and become derailed. We are now on the swing of depression.

How do we beat the attitude of seeking validation?

Accept rejection. Be friends with it. Take it that for every time you are rejected, you have been given a platform to beat your standard. The society has simply decorated a room for self improvement.

Embrace a growth mindset. Prepare your mind to learn and improve. Create a learning culture for yourself. That is a step to growth. Once you have this tool, everything tends to fall into place.

Trust the process. Concentrate more on the process. People’s approval will not matter when you learn to pay attention to the process.

You matter! Your opinions matter! You do not need consent from the world to aim higher or hit the stars. All you need to do is trust yourself. Trust your instincts. It never fails. Validation from the society will not matter when you trust yourself.

Love, Koco💕

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